Autocar Make The Worst European Roadtest Video Ever (Evening re-post)

"Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge)" (thejonnyedge) 04/04/2014 at 19:33 • Filed to: WORST EUROPEAN ROADTEST VIDEO EVER

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Given what they had to work with, I was so angry that a professional publication could produce such a mind-bogglingly poor video, that I had to give them some feedback. Some intense constructive feedback.

My YouTube response:

"Right, I'm just an amateur automotive writer, so you don't have to listen to what I have to say but I really think it would be worth your time, as this video simply isn't up to it. In fact I'm furious.

58 seconds in I've paused this video. There is no meaningful introduction, and the presenter (first driver as I find out later, why we are not introduced properly first off I do not know) is showing absolutely zero engagement with the audience. If you're at the factory, why not walk us around the factory? There are people watching this video who are car enthusiasts. That's the type of thing people want to see!

It's getting better by two and a half minutes in and the next driver is far better but I'm not hearing much about the journey just vague information about the car. How on earth we have covered two days in two minutes is absolutely beyond me. What a waste of miles. You're driving through Europe. Why on earth are we fast-forwarding through mile after mile of gorgeous European scenery?

It's now Day 6 and we're at the four minute mark of the video. Day 6. How long in advance did you know about this trip? You've traveled through some of the most beautiful and fascinating places in Europe and yet we've not really been taught anything either about the countries you've passed through or the car you're driving. Worse still, you've fast-forwarded vast sections of this film so we barely get to see anything except the odd shot of something pretty (like that gorgeous waterfall) or a shelled out house. Where was that waterfall? What was its name? In a national park? Come on guys, that's just not good enough. If an amateur like me can see this how can you not?! Who is (not) doing the thinking here?!

I don't need to watch anymore because frankly, it's a waste of my time. To turn a five thousand mile journey through some of the most stunning and fascinating nations on earth into a pointless six minute fast forward-fest is a waste of everybody's time.

I'm sorry to say it gets worse still. As an amateur automotive writer this absolutely offends me. If I had the chance to do this I promise you I would absolutely show you professionals up. I promise you. It amazes me that you can turn such a phenomenal opportunity into such a poor result, it's absolutely shameful.

I can hope for your sakes' that this was cobbled together at the last minute because otherwise it just goes to show how desperately far behind you are against some other automotive video producers. It doesn't take a genius to know how to have made this video something truly special. I'm sorry if this has been hard to read, but somebody has to tell you how it is."

Seriously, how can you be a professional publication of the stature of Autocar and turn a five thousand mile roadtrip into such a phenomenally piss-poor video? Incredible.

I originally posted this on what is Thursday night to a lot readers. Then I had an idea that if I could get enough comments and views from you guys on here stating how we could all do a better job (which we can let's face it, any of us could) then I'd e-mail it to Autocar and get them to sack their entire staff and hire us all instead. Thus creating Oppocar.

Anyway, would any of you like to try and create Oppocar with me? Or am I just one of those arsey know-it-alls who ruins YouTube for everybody?

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) 04/03/2014 at 20:32

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oh the monotony..

jkm7680 > Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) 04/03/2014 at 20:33

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It's very grey, dull, boring and generic. The first reviewer shows no signs of emotion, doesn't sound like he cares about what he's doing. The second reviewer is slightly better, it feels choppy and edited. The narration is pretty terrible I might add.

Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) > Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy 04/03/2014 at 20:34

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Am I total arsehole Zippy or am I justified here? Because now I feel like a YouTube troll? I'm sure any of us here on Oppo could do a better job of this... it just fell to me to take a swing of the fists here.

Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) > jkm7680 04/03/2014 at 20:35

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Thank you! So I'm not a total arse then. I just happen to sound like one in my response.

Maybe I did go over the top... but then again I'm not the kind of person who has a natural reaction to this kind of crap being produced my professionals. Any of us could have done this a thousand times better than them, not just me!

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) 04/03/2014 at 20:38

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I almost fell asleep after the first 30 seconds of watching the review, it's that boring. An amateur like any of us on Oppo would do a better job. On a related note, his justification on driving to Istanbul is quite lame.

jkm7680 > Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) 04/03/2014 at 20:39

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That's the thing with Top Gear. It's got a good balance of Humor, Enthusiasm, and Factual information. It's not a "Corporate, got a stick shoved up your ass" approach, where it sounds like they are on the brink of suicide every word they speak. The review there is choppy, inconstant, and boring.

Completely agree with your points. For paid professionals, I'd expect more out of them. Such disappoint.

Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) > Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy 04/03/2014 at 20:41

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Dreadful isn't it. I did try to look for positives in this video because I didn't want to be an all out horror-cock, but I simply couldn't find any.

It makes me sad so many of us don't get the opportunity to do something like that and show these "professionals" up.

Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) > jkm7680 04/03/2014 at 20:43

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I'm half tempted to e-mail them this actually, but I could do with a few more hits first I think. If we had some punch behind how truly awful we all thought it was it might make them sack the lot of them and give us all their jobs!

Or at least a chance to film it properly.

jkm7680 > Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) 04/03/2014 at 20:46

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Yeah, Try a repost on the busy hours over the weekend. Those usually get good attention around here. We should all be hired as car reviewers, Haha.

Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) > jkm7680 04/03/2014 at 20:47

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I might just give that a go. See if I can drum up some support.

Nothing like sticking it to the pro's!

jkm7680 > Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) 04/03/2014 at 20:51

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Yeah, Go for it!

twinturbobmw > Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) 04/03/2014 at 21:24

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The point of the journey was to review the car. That never really happened. And that first guy was extremely dreary.

Leadbull > Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) 04/04/2014 at 09:56

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Well, he is driving a Nissan Murano.

Blake Noble > Leadbull 04/04/2014 at 10:03

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[Pushes up horn-rimmed glasses, uses inhaler.] Technically, that is a Nissan Cash-Cow— err, sorry, Qashqui. It's sort of, kind of like a European Nissan Rouge.

Leadbull > Blake Noble 04/04/2014 at 14:28

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I couldn't decide if it was a rebadged Rogue or a rebadged Murano...

GeorgeyBoy > Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) 04/04/2014 at 20:40

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Well they did write a day to day blog on the journey. I'm sure they will go into more detail in the publication as well. Just seems like another publication that is behind the times, probably run by some old chap who thinks the internet is a fad. I wouldn't necessarily blame the reviewers. Yes they're boring, but I'm sure they are working with limited resources and probably some boss saying just do a 5 minute video.

SukhoiRomantic > jkm7680 04/07/2014 at 04:17

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I think it's probably a pointer to a magazine article - a quick vid of where they took it featuring people more used to being behind keyboards than cameras. I love magazine articles featuring big trips so I'm not going to judge too harshly. Aussie sites like caradvice have quick snippet videos where cars are reviewed by authors, and in front of a camera they are terrible, but those same authors tend to write really well in my opinion.

jkm7680 > SukhoiRomantic 04/07/2014 at 06:03

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I agree that the authors probably write well, I haven't read their articles, but they wouldn't be authors if they weren't good writers. But I think they just made a pretty terrible video, even if it was foreshadowing an article.

DownTheLiffeyOnADonut > Jonny Edge (@thejonnyedge) 04/07/2014 at 07:57

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I'll tell you why this is crap, because its an advertorial. The whole Qashqai feature was put together as a separate sponsored-magazine bagged with last week's issue. I used to work in the marketing department for a car magazine publisher, and we did these kind of features all the time, usually to get ad or sponsorship revenue (although they were ostensibly "marketing promotions"). Editorial loathed doing these things. Back then it was just words on paper, now they have to perform for the camera, and, well...draw your own conclusions.